AltJapan

Gaijin Maids Brutally Treated

So you wanna be in a Japanese movie? Gaijin residents of Tokyo, your moment in the limelight may be coming sooner than you ever expected, courtesy of Yoshiki "Slasher" Takahashi, writer-director extraordinaire. You may remember his Shogun Torture faux-trailer (deleted from YouTube for brutality and boobies, but still available here for those with a taste for both.) 

Slasher's at it again. He's filming a segment that will be apparently be included in the extras for the Tokyo Gore Police DVD, and he needs fresh meat. The shoot is on January 12th, around noon, in the Inaricho area. But I'll pass the mic to the man himself for details. Contact Slasher directly if you're interested!

I'm going shoot two shorts, both of which are faux commercials. 

The first piece  is about the "New National Seclusion of Japan." It is an faux announcement from the Government, which says Japan has officially shut down from other countries once again. In this scenario all gaijins must be registered by the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. Gaijin must report to the nearest office, and has to be fingerprinted... Just like reality! But this time, your fingers will be chopped off and literally "printed" (squashed) against the paper. Lots of screams and blood! Smiling female police officer gently guides you to the finger-guillotine machine!

For the second piece, I will shoot some footage of gaijin maids brutally treated in a japanese family house.  It would be nice if there's some gaijin MALE who has guts to do it in a maid costume. I'm not thinking about girl maids, but male maids!

In order to make these faux commercials, I need gaijin extras. The more the merrier. This is a no budget project, so I can't pay anyone, but  all participants will get at least one copy of the finished DVD, and possibly a movie poster too.

The shooting will take place in downtown, around Inaricho (close to Ueno and Asakusa) I'll announce the specific time and meeting place later, but for the moment it is scheduled to start sometime around noon. (I have another one to shoot in the morning.) 

Don't worry about clothing, I'll prepare the maid ones if needed, so dress like you do everyday. It would be ideal if you can manage to bring some clothes you don't care about anymore, so that we can spray "blood" all over you. But it's not an obligation.

PLEASE TELL ANY PEOPLE INTERESTED TO CONTACT ME DIRECTLY!

Selections From the Alt Vault

 

Stardate: December 2008. Somewhere in the suburbs of Washington DC. Pawing through the detritus of a childhood gloriously misspent poring over the catalogs of import toy stores, I stumble across buried treasure in my parents' basement: "Battcom" toys! I'd completely forgotten about the existence of these things, let alone the fact that I owned them. The discovery stirs hazy recollections of my pals and I ordering them from the late, lamented "Pony Toy Go-Round" back in junior high.

I Live in Your Future

At least, Facebook thinks so. 

The philosophical implications of this are staggering.

Ushi-Oni

I hereby declare 2009 the Year of the Bullmark.

Ake-ome

First sunrise of 2009, shot by Hiroko just outside of Chofu, Tokyo.

Seconds after the shutter clicked, a giant lizard crashed through those power lines.

Sock Puppet Conspiracy

A friend of Hiroko's was sending us links to old Muppet Show clips on YouTube when it hit me: Kermit's no frog! He's a kappa! I mean, c'mon...

Frog.

 

Kermit and a suspiciously similar-looking lifeform supposedly recovered off the coast of Mito in 1836:

You make the call. Hey, it wouldn't be the first time a famous American icon was found to have yokai skeletons in his closet...

Season's Cretins

Potomac Video, 7:15pm:

Clerk: "Alt.... Alt... Yeah, here's your account. Last rental, March of 2003. Whoa."

Me: "Yeah, I've been away."

Clerk (slightly agitated): "Away!? Where'd you go man, China!?"

Me: "Sort of. Tokyo."

Clerk (long pause): "Dude... That's far away."

Merry Xmachinders

 

A late Christmas surprise from the Kennedy Center in Washington DC! A juicy high-def video walkthrough of the Jumbo Machinder display from the February Japan: Culture + Hyperculture exhibition, heretofore only seen in Bigfoot-sighting-like, blurry photos on this blog. 

Shot ten months previously, for some reason it only made it online a few days ago. Forgive any mistakes/stumbles/general idiocy, as I was ambushed by the cameraman and forced to sing a savage tale of polyethylene history at the spur of the moment. It's available for free download from iTunes, split into two parts. Check it out here along with the interviews with architect Tadao Ando, musicians Mayawa Denki, toy artist Shin Tanaka, and more!

What's "Happy Holidays" in Cityspeak?

Best nerd present ever: a replica of Deckard's whisky glass from Blade Runner. Thanks mom!

15,284 km to Tokyo

On a whim, Hiroko queried Google Maps for directions from Tokyo to Washington DC. Rather than an aircraft, it advises kayaking across the Pacific, with a brief stop in Hawaii -- just like common sense would indicate. This is too awesome to not be intentional... I think? The direct water-to-highway connections would assume ownership of a vehicle akin to 007's hover-gondola from "Moonraker." Google Maps